(This Title Not Parenthetical)

Short post today (relatively). My sister, her friend, and I were talking (arguing) about Twilight, my pet bashing book, at lunch. Whilst gamboling to my car afterwards, I voiced to my sister the following thought process. Many fantasy readers, ranging from hardcore bookworms to the meanest n00b, know that crosses balk vampires rather effectively, or so the myth goes. I figured that this was because something so evil couldn't stand holiness. Duh. But then, as I am reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, I wondered if that wouldn't be the "Holy Symbol" to Twilight gushers.

I mean, I realize this is stretching hope into impossibility, but wouldn't it be perfect if the very aura of- dare I say it? -actually decent writing would cause the Edward-infected to hiss and draw back in fear? Of course, in that sense, one should be able to hold aloft J.K. Rowling, or Stephen King, or Robert Ludlum, or Jennifer Roberson, or....

On another topic entirely, with the economy as it is, those who hoped to gift their significant other with diamond "stars" needn't spend so much for their own piece of the heavens. That's right! For only $54 and a phone call, you can register your loved one in the Star Registry and name a very, very (very very very very very), very distant flaming ball of gasses after him/her. So what are you waiting for?!

(In case it was missed, this blog suffers from sarcasm and over-used parentheses.)

Additionally, 57- No! -only 28 homes can get a GREAT DEAL!!!!!!!! on air-conditioning and heating! For only ~$917, the cost of labor, you can get your house installed with air-plumbing (since the actual term escapes me)! This is so the business owner can eek by in these bitter months of low business and not so he can hose money out of you in the name of a GREAT DEAL!!!!!!!! No, really. But only 57- NO!!- 28 homes can get this! Why are you still reading this?! Go, now! Take the largely-under-baited hook! Call whatever number it was!

Sales people ire me...